Christmas Blues (and Greens);

The weather has been far too random to make any sense of where we are in the season.

It seems like it will be raining for an hour, turned into snow, turned into a balmy spring day. Mother Nature has lost her mind and as a result, I haven't been sure of what to wear outside - a winter jacket and a scarf, or a cardigan.

Luckily for me, I haven't left the house altogether too much in the past couple days. I have been in a little bit of a rut. I don't know if it is because I am on the brink of being sick with a cold, or the fact that I haven't had to go into work for the past four days, but I am miserable. I am grumpier than I have been in a long time, and there is no reason at all for my behaviour. I regret that I have been unbearable to be around for the past couple days, but even as I notice it, I am unable to stop.

I feel like I get like this at the end of every Christmas season. When everything is calming down and schedules return to normal. People go back to school and back to work and sales end and malls simmer down. Candy and chocolate highs dissipate and we once again move into the mundane nature of January.

I think that this is one of the main reasons why I am not a fan of the holiday. It seems like December is chock-full of rush and hurry, with the gathering of gifts, baking of treats, and organizing family time. There is hardly time to breathe. And even when Christmas day has actually past, there is still at least a week of celebration and family for most people. At the end of this is the celebration of New Year's Eve, and this has a hectic rush to itself. Only after the hangovers have ceased do we finally realize that things are slowly moving back to normal.

I feel letdown when I realize that it is January and work starts on a regular schedule, and all of my friends head back to school. There isn't much excuse for wackiness because there is nothing to be wacky about. I feel so empty after the holidays. I always feel like my time could have been better spent, my gifts could have been better searched for, and my friends and family could have been better cherished.

But I guess I can always hope that next year, I will have everything a little more planned out.